Heart walk

It is hard to believe the American heart Association heart walk is Saturday. I look forward to this every year as an event we can do in memory of Maeghan but I will be honest - I dread it. why?
It is sad. It hurts to see others walking in memory of their children and know what it feels like for them. It is hard to be in this "club" and often times I want to run away from these events that put the fact that Maeghan isn't here in front of me. That may not make any sense. I was reading a blog tonight and said losing a child was like amputation. You learn to live without that person you care about but you are never the same again. The heart walk reminds me of my amputation. I know it is always there but most days it is ok. These events put it on the front page of my life newspaper. I don't want this to sound like I don't want to remember Maeghan I just don't want to remember the fact that she is gone and that is hurts to live without my baby girl with me.
Please pray. Pray the Lord will strengthen me and the others who walk with our children's names on our shirts instead of pushing their strollers. May it be a day to celebrate instead of wiping tears.